Morticom funny and unusual religious stories

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TRUE STORIES

RELIGION

(56 Entries)

1)
During the 1930's, the Rev. Harold "Jumbo" Davidson, from Stiffkey, Norfolk, England, found an unusual platform in which to air his complaints. He moved into a cage at Skegness with Freddie the lion.
After a successful start the lion eventually turned on the rector and he was so badly mauled that he died a few days later in hospital. At his funeral his widow dressed all in white except for her shoes.

2)

Father Denham, of Cornwall, England, was well known for hating people. He had his rectory surrounded by a high barb wired fence and painted the church red and blue.

When the local parishioners stopped attending his services he replaced them with cardboard cutouts and continued to preach to them instead.
He kept no furniture whatsoever in his rectory and up until his death in 1953 his diet consisted solely of nettles and porridge.

3)
St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, wasn't Irish at all. It is thought that he was born in South Wales and had never stepped foot in Ireland until he was kidnapped and taken there by Irish raiders.

4)
Pope John Paul II was once a promising footballer and used to be a goalkeeper for the Polish amateur team Wotsyla.

5)
St. Simeon the Younger, also known as Stylites, spent the last 45 years of his life sitting on top of a stone pillar in Syria.

6)
US religious leader Billy Graham used to sell brushes door to door during the great depression.

7)
The Virgin Mary has appeared on the front cover of 'Time Magazine' more times than any other woman.

8)
In 1032AD Pope Benedict IX became the youngest Pope in history when he was elected at the age of 11.

9)
In 700ad the Pope of the time was so disgusted by being kissed on his hand by a beggar that he promptly had his own hand cut off.

10)
At 5pm, on October 7th, 1571, in the middle of a financial meeting, Pope Pius V suddenly declared there had been a Christian victory.
On 21st October 1571, two weeks later, a messenger from Venice arrived in Rome with the news that the Christian fleet had beaten the Turkish forces at Lepanto.
Officials at the battle confirmed the victory had happened at 5pm on 7th October.

11)
In London, England, in 1993, Lotan Baba, the Indian mystic, rolled along streets for three miles as part of his campaign for world peace.

12)
In 1975, parish priest, Rev. Geoffrey Howard, from Manchester, England, pushed an ancient Chinese sailing wheelbarrow 2000 miles across the Sahra desert in 93 days.

13)
Pope Urban VIII, in 1924, once threatened to excommunicate anyone partaking of snuff.

14)
Pope Paul III had over 45,000 prostitutes working for him.

15)
In 896ad Pope Formosus died but was later dug back up and tried for a number of crimes.

16)
In Virginia, USA, the reverend Joyce Mines of the St. Stephen's Pentecostal Church was criticised after she distributed "religious" leaflets around town. The leaflets had questions on them like "Did your grandma have ways like a whore?", "Did your mother have ways like a whore?", "Do you have ways like a whore?" and "Are you now raising a whore?".

17)
36 percent of all Americans say God has spoken to them.

18)
In ancient Egypt priests plucked every hair from their bodies including their eyebrows and even eyelashes.

19)
In Mexico animals are quite often taken into church on St. Anthony's day where it is thought the Saint protects the pets that are decorated with ribbons.

20)
In Malta every church has two clocks showing two different times. This is to confuse the devil about the time of the next service.

21)
In the Czech Republic there is a church which has a chandelier made from human bones.

22)
In Ibiza it is thought unlucky to allow a priest onto a fishing boat.

23)
In London, England, two women called in a clergyman to perform an exorcism when they feared that their teddy bear was possessed by a demon.

24)
The singing nun's 1963 hit "Dominique" was banned in Massachusetts on the grounds that it was degrading to Catholics.

25)
Albert Knight, a Leicestershire cricketer and lay preacher, always used to get down on his knees and pray at the crease before each innings.

26)
The Vatican newspaper once translated "Donald Duck" as "Donald Anus".

27)
The book of Esther in the Bible is the only book that doesn't mention God by name.

28)
The cat is the only domestic animal not mentioned in The Bible.

29)
The ancient Druids used Mistletoe during their sacrifices. They also prepared it as a tonic for curing sterility and as a protection against poisoning.

30)
In Saline County, Arkansas, USA, federal prosecutors finally managed to capture an arsonist who had burnt down the Kentucky Missionary Babtist Church. The perpetrator turned out to be no other than the former pastor of the church, 37 year old Eric Daniel Harris.
He later stated "There was a division among the church members and they needed a project to unify them!"

31)
In Dadeville, Alabama, USA, in July 1996, an informal bible quoting contest was held outside the apartment block of 38 year old Gabel Taylor.
Winning the contest hands down, Gabel's opponent was such a bad loser that he went home, grabbed his gun and returned, shooting Gabel in the face at point blank range killing him instantly.

32)
In Springfield, Illinois, USA, in 2001, 55 year old Carol Jean Creviston, a Jehova's Witness, was killed instantly when she tried to test her faith by praying in the middle of a busy highway.
Within seconds of kneeling on the ground the fearless zealot was smashed by an oncoming car.

33)
In Pennsylvania, USA, in 1998, Donald Drusky finally had his court case dismissed after he spent nearly thirty years trying to sue God.
His complaint was that "The Sovereign Ruler of the Universe took no corrective action" when he was fired from his job in 1968 and so he demanded the resurrection of his dead mother as compensation!

34)
In Greenville, South Carolina, USA, 67 year old Evelyn Kuykendall successfully sued Charles and Frances Hunter after they had allegedly drove out her "Spinal disease demons" but when they failed to catch her as she fell backwards Evelyn fractured her back.
She recieved 300 thousand dollars in compensation!

35)
In Graz, Austria, a 57-year-old Roman Catholic nun, Sister Franziska Lekse, was fined £300 for strangling a kitten after it miaowed loudly in her convent.

36)
In Israel in 1998, newspaper 'Yediot Ahronot' reported that a rabbi was under pressure to resign his position as principal of a Jewish Seminary, after being photographed in a Jerusalem strip-club wearing a cowboy outfit, complete with boots and stetson. Seminary directors insisted he had visited the bar with the purest intentions, claiming: "He made a supreme sacrifice by going to the abominable place to see if any of his students frequented it." They declined to comment on his get-up.

37)
In London, England, local vicar John Papworth, aged 75, declared that supermarkets were "Places of Evil!" and had every sympathy with shoplifters, saying "I think they are fully justified!"
He blames supermarkets for a multitude of modern sins. He also revealed that he was arrested for being a peace activist and spent time in Brixton prison, an experience he described as "Being like Butlin's Holiday Camp!"
He also helped KGB spy George Blake by sheltering him in the 1960's.

38)
There is not one biblical authority to say that Christ's feet were nailed to the cross.

39)
St. Cuthbert was noted for his running and jumping abilities.

40)
The gold plated roof of Cracow cathedral has now been totally dissolved by acid rain.

41)
St. Joan of Arc was put on trial after she was executed.

42)
The last head of State to be excommunicated by the Catholic church was Juan Peron of Argentina.
The reason for this was that he had abolished church taxes, eliminated feast days and legalized brothels and divorce.

43)
The Vatican City has the lowest birthrate in the entire world!

44)
The ancient Romans believed in a god that protected their crops from mildew.

45)
In England during the 19th century the Bishop of Raphoe spent his days preaching in church and his nights as a highwayman on Hounslow Heath.
He was eventually killed by one of his victims.

46)
When restoration work at St. Michaels's Paternoster was started, a church built by Dick Whittington, workmen found a mummified cat buried withing the building.

47)
Pope Sergius III once arranged for his bastard son to take over as Pope after his death.

48)
Charles V who was once Holy Roman Emperor but later abdicated spent the last years of his life trying to make twelve clocks run in unison.

49)
Pope Pius II once disciplined one of his cardinals after he was caught wearing his robes to an orgy.

50)
The Russian word for God is 'Bog'.

51)
Temple priestesses in ancient India used to offer sex for money with male worshippers to keep the temple coffers full.

52)
At one time the head of the Roman Catholic Church in the Phillipines was named Cardinal Sin!

53)
St. Simeon the Younger spent 45 years of his life sitting on top of a pole in Syria.

54)
All pilgrims who are travelling to Mecca are not allowed to clip their nails, raise their voices, cut their hair or have sex.

55)
The Monastery on Mount Athos in Greece bans all females including female animals.

56)
In Clwyd, Wales, UK, a nun at a convent constantly tried to grow mushrooms in the convent gardens but found that they refused to grow no matter what she did.
In 1986, at the age of 79, the nun died and was buried within the convent grounds.
Strangely there has been a decent crop of mushrooms growing on her grave every Autumn although they still refuse to grow in any other part of the convent.